i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
