I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
