I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
