i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
