New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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