Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
