the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
420 ftw
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize