Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
