Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
