WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
