direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How's work?
Spinning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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