the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
