Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
