just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
