Say something about gay babies.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
