i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
