dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
