You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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