yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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