the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
