Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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