Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...

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(219): View more from Indiana

I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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(519): View more from Ontario

your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head

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