no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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