Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
