oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize