Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
