I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
