I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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