Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
