I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
