she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
