we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
