I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Found your dick twin last night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
