My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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