Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
