I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
