Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
