Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So vagazzling was a success
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
