Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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