Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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