Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
