Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
