I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
