Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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