taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
