he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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