Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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