Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
