I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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