Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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