Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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