Who wears a wallet chain?!
we made out on top of his cat.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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