Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
