woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have tasted many bathrooms
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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