So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
