he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
