i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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