Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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