hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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