hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
