just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
