There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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