Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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