hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's the barista slut.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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